Fading in and out of the background

The thought for today is fading in and out of the background

Today has been another day in the bad week i have been having. Adding to my last post i have been thinking about a new post and finally found one that has just came to me after looking back at today. my week has been quite a depressing one. today i felt like i was fading into the background i felt alone i was talking to people but it seemed that they didn't really want to know. i think the unoticeable side seems to be growing like it a parasite. I seem to accepted that i try to be unnoticeable but today i didn't really want to be unnoticeable. it seems that being unnoticeable it a gift but also can be a curse or that i am having a bad week.

To conclude i think i need some sleep and need to really thing about this quite alot, and i think im just having a bad week.



Night blog readers

SalvoSoldier (John Machan)

unnoticeable

My thought for the day is unnoticeable. I was thinking about this on my way home today due to the darkness making me unnoticeable. Most people know that i'm a person who likes to keep to himself and stay unnoticeable, I think being unnoticeable to people helps me with the sort of character that i can guess that people think of me. To help understand what I mean i will give some background infomation, In my younger years and abit now i was and am still a easy target to annoy and bully, It started in year 3 after a good friend of mine who used to stand up for me left to go to another country. So after my friend went i became the easy target and this went on untill year 6 after i left the school and then went to my secondry school that i still go to i started to become unnoticeable i stayed out of people's way and kept a low profile but some how they allways found me out. while becoming unnoticeable i kept and now sometimes do show no expression on how i really feel which is a part of being unnoticeable which was hard for the teachers to work out that i was being bullied, that was untill in year 8 that when something big happened they ask me if i was being bulling and then finally i had to speak out on how i feel. Even writing this blog entry i am finding this quite hard to write down how i really feel. In year 10 i got to know a friend who was knew to the school who tried to make me in his terms "come out of my shell" which in my terms after that year "failed really badly" I am a person who keeps to himself, and works best when im on my own and also when im left alone and im not going to change that. I think that the way that i feel also affects on how i dress, my basic dress sense would be jeans and a hoodie. I like wearing hoodies because of two reasons:
1.They are warm
2.I can shield my facial expressions more easily when i need to
To summerise this paragraph of text, I like being unnoticed and i have accepted that i keep to myself, I don't useally care what people think of me and i like hoodies for different reasons. It seems that im at my best when im not seen or heard by people.

SalvoSoldier (John Machan)
 

The past

I think looking back at today i would say my thought for the day would be "the past". my day has mostly been helping my church with manning a stall for their Christmas fayre and then i spent some time with my girlfriend shopping and spending time with her, we went to this christian book shop and looked around it and she bought some Christmas presents for her family and the woman round the counter was a very nice person and she reminded me of a person called melanie that i knew when i was in my first year of secondary school anyway we walked out and walked down the road until my brain kicked in and i asked my girlfriend for her receipt and i read at the bottom the cashiers name which was Melanie. I rushed back and asked her if she went to my school which she replyed with the words "yes" i asked her some more questions an i found out that it was the melanie that i knew when i was younger, and we chatted for half an hour and catched up on old times at my school and i then invited her come sometime to my church which has left me in a good mood and i thought that i would talk about it today i just hope that she maybe come for a meeting.

Today has been a massive turn around from this bad week i have had.


 SalvoSoldier (John Machan)

message to my readers

A great idea came to me this week that i have been thinking about. a few weeks ago I went to this christian youth rally which have this great theme wordship god 20 4 7 which gave me this great idea "thought for a day" which exactly means what it says in the title. im going to do a trial run soon so if you read this could you comment for your views on this new idea.

I really what to hear them!

SalvoSoldier (john machan) 

Music

Hello readers of my blog

I haven't posted a blog post for a long time for different reasons, But while I'm write this I'm listening to one of my favorite songs on my ipod and suddenly, I started to think about my days at my summer school a few months back and how music changed a lot of people; i remember looking around and seeing the people that had been touched by god and it did change me, all i can now remember is the bible verse which is taken from Romans 12:2 which Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. which means "instead fix your attention on god and you will be changed by the inside out" which i now have on a t-shirt. but getting back to what i was talking about music is a powerful things and it can be used for good things which i think in that week..it did because i fixed my attention on god and i was changed from the inside out!

a spiritual walk with god

Today is commitment Sunday and we have signed a card as we do every year. but this year was different really different the commanding officer or c.o as we call them made it different for us younger ones and started saying look back over the last year and think about have you grown in faith which made remember about all the times i grown in spiritual faith and i remembered the summer school i when to which was very spirited and i remembered all the good time i have had with my family doing stuff at my church and i remembered the walk with god that all Christians have and are doing right now and it made me smile because i am a person who keeps things to himself i can admit that getting back the summer school helped me a lot because i never talked about my faith to people my age because my church does not have many boys I'm the only one usually and summer school really help me with my walk because i was kinda veering of it and i got back on it. it make me think all about it and i just smiled and said that's the lord work for ya because he is here to save us all!

Nativity story the right way!

Now I'm guessing everybody can not wait for Christmas because I can't but when most people think of Christmas they think of presents and party's and drinking but they never think of our saviour Jesus Christ's birth but when you stop and think you think what did really happen it has started whizzing round my head after seeing a video in church on Sunday about what really happened. So I am going to tell you what the video talked about. It started by saying the donkey carrying Mary could it just been a donkey because I could have been a cart that the donkey would have been pulling and that got me thinking. Then it started talking about the inn because you think of a hotel but in the translation the word inn means a house with a second floor that got me really thinking. After that it said he stable in those times it could have been a cave which got me confused about those times (in the time of Jesus). Then the three kings it only said in he song about kings but it says in the bible wise men and it started going on about there could have been more then three because it only said three gifts which really made me think "yes! there could have could have been more then  three wise men." Then started saying that the baby did not cry but all baby's cry don't they? which got me in a headache because of one video, then it had more to say in anyway it started saying things about the star and how it is still there even if the story has been changed so that got me thinking again,anyway after all that it got me to a conclusion the way we celebrate Christmas might be different but the reason is still the same so celebrate your Christmas the right way!