The Future (with a little tangent about my personality trait)

Have you ever heard the saying "what will the future hold for me?", or something along those lines? Today's Blog post is about the future. I have only recently woken up and checked my news feed on the popular social  networking site Facebook, today is one of the dreaded days for children who have recently left secondary school....results day. I remember my results day, it was a rather scary moment and viewing if i had the grades to get into Sixth form, well as you probably know from my previous posts i got in, but today looking at some of the status's, some was pleased about their results, some not so much. Over these few months where i have not been blogging, i have been thinking and researching, my father got me to take this test, it's called the Myers Briggs test, this test gives you a rough idea about your personality and the way you act in situations. If your familiar with this test your probably asking what category i am in, i am an ISTP. Most, maybe even all ISTP people take their lives one day at a time and don't tent to look towards the future that much, i can personally say yes, i try and take each day at a time because to be honest, the future scares me. When i say scared, i don't mean the future is a scary monster going to get me in my sleep or something. I mean that the future makes me worried about decisions, things like finding a job and education choices. Being an introvert, (The first letter in ISTP) I think thoroughly and sometimes too much, it could be about anything and everything, how situations could happen if i did this and what would be the reaction, apparently this is an advantage for an ISTP as if that situation occurs they have experience and have a rough idea what is going to happen. I personally can see a disadvantage that i have heard from a group that i am in on Facebook is that some ISTP's have the tendency to over think about things and need to stop. I have reached that stage before and it can give you a headache. This rough explanation gives you an idea why the future is personally scary for me and they way that i think.

To sum everything up, the future is scary and take the Myers Briggs test (it help you learn about yourself) it does wonders to help you learn about what makes you tick as a person.

Until next time Bloggers and Blog readers,

SalvoSoldier (John Machan)

When life gives you lemons, watch a toddler?

Hello fellow bloggers and blog readers

When life gives you lemons, i have heard that saying so many times, in movies and in real life. I never really understood the meaning of it. Well someday hopefully i will, this few months it has been like life giving me lemons but a solutions for the blues has only come recently. Picture the situation, your in a crowded bus near the front and there a family on the bus with a small toddler your listening to your music while being shoved when the bus moves a corner, you cannot help but look at this small toddler no more than 3-4 years old, it looks up at you with it's small face but huge innocent eyes and you cannot help but smile. everything that was going on during that time didn't matter due to this small innocent toddler, it wasn't only me that was being affected there was at least another two more people that couldn't stop smiling. I urge anybody who has the blues to visit a friends house who has a toddler or watch a couple of YouTube videos with toddlers, you will find it hard not to smile.

So i leave you with this saying "when live gives you lemons, watch a toddler"

Until next time bloggers and blog readers

SalvoSoldier (John Machan)

Just another update blog post (Sorry)

To all my Blog readers, i first off want to apoligise for the lack of posts and the mass stream of update posts. I'm finding that i am having less time to put aside to blog let alone blog something interesting. sixth form work has taken over an is becoming more important than anything else. nothing important has happened recently that i could have counted as interesting. so lets home that something happens.

i once again apoligise for the lack of posts, if anybody has any ideas to help me out of this lack of blog posts, contributions would be grateful.

until next time blog readers

SalvoSoldier (John Machan)

Oh what's the point?!

Now being in sixth form i have having less time to blog, but today i have the time to write a quite blog post to talk about how the few months have been and in more detail these past 2 weeks. I'm not going to lie but it has been less and less good by the minute. Anything that goes slighty right, something 10 times worse goes wrong and has been making me less and less concentrated with my work, not only this has affected me but also the friends and family i have. The reason for the name of the blog post, is that a 2 days ago i posted these words on my what's app (instant message application) status. "what's the point of doing anything, if all i am going to lose". I'm not going to talk in detail what has happened but all i am going to say is once again i have lost more friends, or at least might. My feelings for this is that i am stupid with friend , nothing has been going right and that my life is falling apart and im letting it happen. Hopefully things work out for me soon and i might be getting a "CBT" or also know as compulsary basic training (motorbikes/mopeds). Will keep you updated on things as it happens.

Also, one more thing.

Never lose those most closest to you, it hurts too much to lose.

Until next time fellow bloggers and blog readers

SalvoSoldier (John Machan)

What are you doing son?!

"What are you doing son?!". This phrase is normally used for football fans when a player or manager has done something that the football fan doesn't like, for this post I am using this phrase because this describes how I think my life is going right now, since my last post a couple of things has changed in my life.

Firstly I am no longer in a relationship - which has had it's pros and cons; secondly, I have finished school and gone onto sixth form; which is actually at the same school I was going to. Thirdly, I have lost and gained a couple of friends; hopefully after this post I will sort the third one out....moving on. The reason I have listed a couple of these things is that looking at my life up till now all I can say is "what are you doing son?!".

Sixth form has had its ups and downs; some days it has left me happy and some days....not so much, and Friday I had a "not so much" day. I was travelling home on the bus from the local shopping centre (Bluewater) and my phone decided to run out of battery power while I was listening to music. Without music, all that it left me was to look outside of the window and brood.... and as I brooded I looked at my life, all my achievements and my failings and I came to one conclusion "what are you doing son?!" I looked through all my mistakes and failings and I played them over and over and over inside my head, the screaming of thousands of little me's asking why I did that, what I should have done and why it's my fault. I can't change the past but I can change the present and the future.

Over these few weeks there has been a new addition to my group of friends; this person will remain anonymous for this post, but this person has made me feel very different about myself. At first this person sounded cool and good for the group but then it started to change, I felt as if I was being left out, pushed out of the group this person started to show their true colours and it wasn't nice. I ignored it at first and finally got back into the group; their second change seemed to change their actions towards me, they made me feel singled out again, but this time inside the group; this person has seen that I am a easy target; I have always been, but...the level this person treats me I can't stand it no more. I am sick of being treated like dirt, sick of being the so called "weird and creepy" one, I am SICK OF BEING THE END OF ALL JOKES AND PRANKS. I AM A HUMAN BEING, TREAT ME LIKE ONE!

Every time I try and stand up for myself this person's catchphrase is "Fight me"; this person also knows that I will not stand up to that challenge and even if I did I would be beaten to a pulp, my reaction to this is "sure beat me to a pulp, but it takes the bigger man to walk away". If my friends are reading this, they will understand who I am talking about, from this day on, I know I am the bigger man to walk away, I know that I might mess up or make a mistake....who doesn't? and I know I might lose this fight but I know that I have made the right decision to walk away.

I AM JOHN MACHAN, NOW ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM.....MISTAKES AND ALL!

I'm not dead!

Hello my fellow blog readers, this is going to be a update blog post. It has been a few months since I wrote a blog post and the reasons are many, one of the reasons is that it was the exam season for the year 11s so I had to revise many subjects. Lucky for me is that I only had about 4-5 exams to do, some harder than others but nonetheless i think I have taken a good shot at passing. Being in year 11 means I had to make the choice of work or further education. I picked further education hoping to learn more about the subjects I took at GCSE level. I recently went for an induction (taster) day for what sixth form will be like, after those two days I can say that I think I made a good choice with staying onto further education. And today I have been hunting for summer job places so I can do something "productive" with the free time that I have and so I'm earning some money for me. I just think it is so my parents can get me out of the house for a few days while still making some money. Either way I have a interview for possible help about Job interviews on Monday. I have a few things coming up (summer school, and a week with the family) which could give me some ideas for more blog posts because frankly I have been having writers block. I have ideas but nothing strong enough to be able to put onto paper I have some ideas about a song that has been putting into a really good mood every time i listen to it, for the music people who read my blog it is called "Bring me to life" by Evanescence it really gets me "pumped" with energy with the sound of the guitar and the drum beat. Well that seems to wrap up what I have been doing these past few months I probably have more but that is really all that I can remember.

(A little side note this was made last Friday and I forgot to upload this. But to keep fully updated things went great with the interview)

Until next time blog readers

SalvoSoldier (john Machan)

Introvert or Extrovert

Reading the title of this blog which one would you say you are? Looking at me I would say I am for definite a introvert. This week my dad (also a blogger) has been showing me pictures about introverts. And one really stood out to me it was a picture saying how to care for introverts with a list of rules. This really summed me up with what I want people to know. While at church yesterday I was talking with my dad and our C.O and I said about the picture and she said about two types of people, turtles and skunks, skunks being extroverts and turtles being introverts. When somebody is angry a extrovert will shout back like a skunk when it makes a stink up. A introvert will curl up and hope they leave them alone like a turtle when it goes back into it's shell. When I'm angry I do the same thing I put my music on, blocking myself from the world. I am a introvert and I'm proud of it!

felt like sharing this today

SalvoSoldier (John Machan)